The P.O.S.H. Life (Pursuit of Strength & Health)

Many of you reading this article talk a good game. You say you just want a good man/woman but your actions dictate a totally different attitude. When you were a kid there were things you knew you were gonna do when you grew up. You were gonna be a fireman, or a fly CEO, lawyer, doctor, etc. I know being alone wasn't on your list. There are so many of us complaining about a good/man or woman is hard to find. We need to wake up and look around. Quality candidates are passing you by all the time while you keep looking for that new hotness in the street. Most times, new hotness = another bad relationship story.

Here are my ideas for all of us to begin having better interactions with the opposite sex.

1. Be Honest!! - If you don't want a relationship with someone - state that up front. Its alright to date but be cognizant that you are playing with people's emotions. If you do want a relationship, build with that person and learn more about them so you get past the honeymoon stage. I have never understood playing the field. How can you really learn about that special person when you are playing around with bench warmers? When you find someone that may be worth it Carpe Diem - before someone else does...and you are alone. See below - it ain't all about you.

2. Grow up - Recognize that Golden Rule you learned in Sunday school. Do unto others....etc. You don't want to get played or hurt. Be courteous and act how you would want others to treat you. Kama is a jealous broad and she will get you when you least expect it.

3. It ain't all about you - it takes two to tango. Your swagger hooked them...now what. Start trying to build things with people. Learn about a person and if they can fit into your plan. Not your superficial plan but your life long stability plan. If it don't fit you must acquit!! Cheesy I know. Put it this way - every day you string along someone because its comfortable is another day you miss out on finding the one who really fits in your puzzle. No one wins.

4. Throw away your lists - we miss out on good people because they don't have XYZ. Recognize these are wants most of the time and not needs. She may be fly and have body for days - but is she supportive in your time of need? He has a fly resume, but does he have bad credit? Do they go to church? Get down to the nitty gritty about what really makes you happy and what will be important to you with this person 50 years from now.

5. Talk it out - If things aren't going how you like. Communicate!! A closed mouth will never get fed. Please don't resort to cheating. It never helps anyone and leaves scars which even the biggest band-aid can't fix.

6. Expand your circle- You will never meet anyone hanging with your same friends, in the same places, on the same nights. Try something new and just go to hang out. You will be surprised who you meet.

7. Wait before you jump into sex- Why? diseases are killing our community. Also, sex complicates situations and clouds your judgment. Wait until you figure out if you can stand them and you know you want them in your life. Random kids and broken hearts are leftovers you could do without.

8. Quit complaining - Stereo types are so 1994. Every woman isn't a gold digger and every man isn't a dog. If you seek you shall find. You get what you attract. Many women want to build with a man and aren't in it just for the resume alone....just like many men are looking to settle down with one woman. If your picking up shallow chicks....you might not be selecting women based on superficial qualifiers. If you keep dating do wrong men...evaluate your own strength and if your letting your self be stepped on. Evaluate your past relationships. If you aren't liking what you find...change what you put out there.