CocoaDiva here. I was just pondering on love and relationships and thought of the Cinderella syndrome. Why is it we as women are always waiting on our white knight to show up, make our lives complete, and sweep US off our feet. We always think we have found "the one" and a year or several years later we realize we just had magic dust in our eyes. Why are we so afraid of taking charge of our own relationships?
There is no such thing as the Prince Charming complex. Men aren't sitting around waiting for that right one, being patient, faithful, and dilligent. They are out in the streets with wives, girlfriends, and others. Why is there no complex like this for men? Men get to sow oats while we get to sit at home and wait for the oats to make oatmeal.
I was at a book club meeting this weekend and I posed the question when does a man realize that he has found that ONE aka "Princess Charming"? Why is it that men proclaim they have found her but then cheat on her, abuse her, or neglect her. I especially can't understand the cheat on portion. When is ONE woman enough to satisfy a man's needs?
Why is it in our society committment has become a dirty word? Why is there that half of all marriages end in divorce statistics? Were our mothers less afraid of meeting disaster in marriage. Why do we have to worry about the down-low brother?
Does a man ever get permanently swept off his feet in a magical Cinderalla moment?
Is there such thing as a down-low sistah that men have to worry about? On that note what are the male pit-falls to modern dating?
Speak now if your tired of kissing frogs. (Or men if you have your answer).
2 comments:
I am going to break the ice here. I think black relationships need a recharge. All too often, we allow ourselves to be treated in ways we would never allow anyone else we know to be treated.
Also, we women really adhere to the princple that God will send us a good man who will be the answer to all our hopes and prayers. The best question is what are WE doing to make sure we are ready for him. He won't just fall out of the sky ladies. Sometimes, we may have to put ourselves out there to let him SEE the quality candidate we really are.
Guys are really clueless sometimes. All that eye winking may not work. He may have thought there was something in your eye lol.
Men, your thoughts? When do you know you found her ( or a found something you want to pursue?)
I think the Cinderella complex is a little old school(maybe things change as you get older?). If I'm interested in a guy I will make it clear and if we're on the same page it will move forward from there. This works pretty well for me. I'm in a healthy relationship with an educated faithful black man.
I really don't like to buy into the idea that Black men can't commit. I know plenty of good guys that are single and have their ish together; they just haven't come across the right chick.
Now, I will not completely ignore the statistics. At the end of the day of all us (black women) will not get our dream guy or get married at all for that matter. This fact may be hard to come to terms with but it is true. So maybe it's time we start dating men in other races....just a suggestion.
I do agree that some women let men treat them in awful ways but to fix that you have to find confidence from within.
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