Let me be the first to say, let the words of my mouth, be acceptable to thy sight. I had to say that because I ‘m getting ready to go to church like Choir Boy from “The Five Heartbeats.” My brothers of color, we exist in the perfect time and season to actually meet a woman of quality and substance. I don’t know if you know this, but we are currently in a period of economic distress. The job market is so horrific, it reminds me of the set of Good Times (ain’t we lucky we got em, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom). You would think that this hardship will bring out some of the women we know as gold diggers. Wrong. There is no gold even for them to dig. A person might be in a house, but he might be one month away from foreclosure or sitting on a sub prime mortgage. Suddenly New Edition’s,” Can You Stand the Rain” is like the Gospel now.
Despite my commentary, now is the time to really meet someone quality. The way things are with the economy, employment, and the environment, people are forced to do things that don’t cost a lot of money and actually requires conversation as part of the date. This beats stuffing chardonnay and surf and turf in your mouth. Grant it some folk’s ain’t gonna make it. Some of our female counterparts have champagne taste, but Kool-Aid salary. Also some people do not know how to operate in the down economy. They were so used to just spending money and not having to worry about anything. Alas, now everyone has to be creative.
This is the primetime for a cheap brother with an imagination to “come up.” If you’re that dude, then my brother, suddenly you’re “romantic.” I mean anybody who can cook right now is a hot commodity. I got the oven if you got the coupons!
Sidebar: Here is what I wonder. Why haven’t we seen the resurgence of the house party? I mean people are broke and still trying to VIP it all over the town. That is a wrap for me. The only bottle service I’m trying to get is at the “batcave.” Then again, if everybody is caught up in sub prime mortgage crisis, there are no houses to host parties. Forget Facebook! We need a house party network!
Okay I’m back. So to bring quality women into your life, I offer these things.
• Does she do the little things?
Actions speak louder than words. Does she surprise you with your favorite ice cream or candy? What about buying you little thoughtful gifts? Grant it she may be I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t, but she should also know r-e-c-i-p-r-o-c-i-t-y.
If you see yourself putting more into the relationship than you're getting out of it, it's time to ask yourself some serious questions.
• Complete personality
Look to see if she's sincere, honest, reliable, responsible and relentless. The more of these qualities your woman has, the smaller the chances of her being the next contestant for the “I used to know her” list. But if your woman lacks any of these characteristics, then…to the left, to the left.
Remember gentlemen, the word for the rest of 2008 is “quality.” Let me know your success stories.
5 comments:
E.X.C.E.L.L.E.N.T!
You "hit on" a truth that's not often discussed; it's tough for decent people of BOTH sexes to find compatible partners.
Let's face it. Most people, of all stripes, develope the "it's all about me" attitude in this culture. Ever notice how bad people seem not to end up with each other? They actively seek out people they can exploit, both the male and female predators amoungst us.
Thanks for this timely peice,
G
I may sound like I'm venting, but in the last year of my dating life, I have yet to meet the woman with the quality characteristics that you mentioned, and at the same time she's attractive, single, and not on a pole somewhere. I definitely agree with your points, but quality women like you described and who don't look like Shrek are a haystack needle.
Chuuuuurch! This was real talk!
Again, I appreciate the perspectives that good men are looking, and I know a couple of them... For Richard, the first question I poise is: where/who are you dating from? What I find interesting is that the majority of folks who find each other find each other doing things that they love/care about. As for me in undergrad, I was in the marching band, and they found me. Whenever I go out and volunteer or do something that has my real interest, I meet others with similar traits and values. Don't make looking for that woman a priority, and God may just place her innocently in your path, or she may already be there... *smiles* Be blessed....
Sorry LBS, but that mentality only works with women. As a man, it is our job to find a wife, not just wait and hope she falls into our lap.
Right now, finding a wife right now is third of my priority list behind God and my professional career, so I'm technically in that "I'm doing me" phase right now. At the same time, I'm not stupid, and I'm not one to block my blessing. God knows my heart and my desires, and I'm waiting patiently until my wife is revealed to me. And honestly, God has placed enough good (and bad) women in my life to know when my wife comes. I'll be aight, don't worry.
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