Well gentlemen, we now live in a world where women of color enjoy life in the fast lane, juggling a high flying career and sporting an exciting social life, distancing themselves from the traditionally domestic stereotype. These days’ young career women are more concerned with mixing cocktails, heating up ready meals and cooking sauces from a jar.
In other words, women have stopped cooking. Pretty harsh? Sure. Welcome to the 21st century. Now we can engage in deep debate with our fellow members of the opposite sex and discuss why it would be great to have a woman who cooks. But why waste your brain power? It’s a wrap. Debate over. The African American mentality that a woman has to cook is outdated. I would rather be with a caring and compatible person than a perfect cook. Times have changed and frankly, women don't have the time to cook anymore
I enjoy cooking. The whole process of cutting, chopping, measuring, timing, etc., is very relaxing to me for some reason, and it calms me down after a busy day. I can't think of a more satisfying thing than to spend an hour or more preparing a meal that takes about 15 minutes to enjoy or 4 minutes to devour. I've been a bachelor for years in the sense that I've lived alone and I've always loved this wonderful the art of cooking.
Sure prepared meals at your local Whole Foods is a blessing but cooking your own meal... putting in all that time to get it just right... it's priceless. But as men, we should also be able to cook, even if the only one expected for dinner is the entity known as "me, myself and I.”
The underlying factor to a successful meal is preparation. You have to make sure that everything that needs washing, chopping, peeling, slicing and dicing is done before you start cooking as this will prevent you from panicking and getting the timing wrong. Use different chopping boards for meat and vegetables and wash your hands after handling raw meat. If you have anything that needs defrosting, make sure you take it out of the freezer the night before. And lastly, wash up as you go along!
If you are a little hesitant about embarking on this area of your life because you feel that men who cook are not real men, take comfort in knowing that the “Real Man of Color” is a man who loves his family, adores his children, gives back to the community, enthrones the women in his life, cherishes his friends, and can cook.
I believe that men who cook nurture their self-respect and reinforce a proud sense of masculinity that has been lost over time. Through this proud sense of masculinity we are more likely to find that salvation over a plate of tantalizing food, cuisine that feeds our bodies, souls, spirits, and communities with a nutritional value that can neither be underestimated nor precisely measured.
Fin.
7 comments:
I agree 100%. But I'll be damned if I'm doing all of the cooking. Marriage is a partnership where both sides have to bring something to the table. I have no problem cooking, but if my future wife can't, that's STILL a showstopper.
I am a bit territorial about my kitchen. Since deciding to attend law school part-time (at night), it has been extremely difficult to balance work, school and home. Which meant my husband had to take up some of the slack in the kitchen. It also meant that I had to let go of my kitchen. We both still have a long way to go (he's just now beginning to make edible, healthy meals and I still call it "my kitchen"), but our relationship is better for it.
I have started taking my 7 year old boy into the kitchen with me so that he can learn to cook. I agree that it is very relaxing but more than that, if you make it, you know what is in it.
I cook so no biggie. However, I want to know why its such a big deal breaker if a woman doesn't cook. I think its less of a deal breaker for women if a man can't put together ....electrical equipment or build something. I just want to know the rationale especially if we are moving into the more modern age where women aren't tied to the kitchen.
As a family, we can't always eat out all the time. And there are going to be times when either the husband or wife have a bad day, and it should not be on just one person in the house to do the cooking all the time. If my wife has a bad day, and I didn't, I can cook. And vice versa.
I'm not tying women to the kitchen. But in most marriages, the primary caretaker is the mother, and the primary provider is the father. Now, if you can't cook, that's fine when we're dating. But between the courtship and the moment I say 'I do', learn something. Will I teach what I know? Of course.
I know me and Posh have had this debate several times, so I won't go any further. :)
As a female who actually enjoys and doesn't mind cooking, this post was still refreshing. It's just good to hear men say they are willing to do whatever it takes to make things work. I'm loving your definition of a "real man of color."
sidebar: I also salute the men who know to go to Whole Foods for a prepared meal rather than a frozen "Hungry Man" meal, or the 99 cent heart attack off the die for cheap menu at the local fast food joint. :-D
Excellent post, CHR!
When this subject comes up, the waters get muddied with talk of gender roles, new millennium, blah, blah, blah, when they don't have to be.
A women who can cook = sexy. It's an attractive skill/quality. Plain and simple. I'm not saying it's her job to cook. I'm not saying it's her responsibility to cook. I'm just saying that it's sexy. Dead sexy.
The female equivalent might be a man's ABILITY to earn a decent wage. He doesn't have to be the sole breadwinner. He doesn't have to pay for everything all the time - but it seems like women would be attracted to a dude that has earning power.
What say you?
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